A Few Funnies

1. A few weeks ago Makayla had 3 friends over after school. I picked them up from the bus stop and was immediately bombarded with baby questions, I immediately went into panic mode.

The conversation:

Me: "Hi girls, how was your day?"

Mak: "Good."

Friend 1: "Where are you going to deliver your baby?" (This girl is 7 and used the word deliver.)

Me: "Saddleback Hospital."

(I was so hoping already that that was the last of this conversation and frantically trying to find another topic but was drawing a complete blank in my state of shock!)

Friend 2: " Why are you delivering it?"

(Oooooh my gosh!!!!! What do I say! Another topic, another topic!!! Why am I drawing a blank!?!)

Friend 1: "Thats where my mommy delivered me."

Me: "Oh, thats great, so what'd you learn at school today?" I was trying to play it cool.

Friend 3: "You never told us why you deliver the baby at the hospital!"

Me: In a panic I said "Because the mailman can't deliver it to the house since she won't fit in the mailbox, so the doctor delivers it at the hospital!"

The car was silent. Oh thank goodness!

2. The animal hospital called while we weren't home. They left a message on the machine. I started playing the message it went something like:

"Hi, this is Laurie from the animal Hospital".....and Perry got so excited.

"MOM! STEWA'S AT THE HOSPITAWL, WETS GO GET HER!

"No, Perry, that was the animal hospital."

With a very confused look on his face he said "Stewas at the animal hospitawl?"

He thought she was delivered to the wrong hospital.

3. Last week we were driving to dance. Bentley was screaming for absolutely no reason for 5-10 minutes. I tried putting her window down, singing, feeding her. I got nothing. She was just very mad about something. After 5 minutes of her high pitched glass breaking screaming on the freeway, I slammed on my brakes and stopped the car. (That was always terrifying to me as a child!) I put the car in park and started yelling at my 19 month old. She quickly quieted down. I sat on the side of the road for a couple minutes calming myself down, my kids were in absolute shock at my reaction, when Perry says "Mom, I can't wait for you to have Stella so your crazy war zones will give me my mommy back." He meant to say crazy hormones. I felt like the worst mother in the world.